Clare of Assisi is Very Much Awesome

Me again, shamelessly stealing other people’s representations of awesome women and supplying captions of dubious hilarity. This time: Clare (or Ciara) of Assisi. First woman to be granted her own Rule of Life for a religious community. The one who kept Francis on the straight and narrow when he wanted to go become a hermit instead of shepherding the burgeoning Franciscan movement. General badass.

Let’s go!

c1

Do you know how long I’ve been carrying this monstrance? A long, long time. Bow down, already.

c5

Can’t…carry…monstrance…anymore…must…lie…down…

c7

Those bitches are lame. I can carry this thing with ONE HAND and also SAY THE ROSARY AT THE SAME TIME.

c2

I AM THE SAINTLY EQUIVALENT OF THE STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW (WO)MAN IN THE WOMEN-ONLY GHOSTBUSTERS.

c3

I am wearing a star and smiling and I want to introduce you to my friend Jes–Wait! Jesus! Where’d you go?

c4

I am wearing a saucy little one-shouldered 12th century number but refusing to marry any dudes. Instead I am going to found a ladies-only religious community where we don’t even have to talk to dudes. #misandry

c6

It’s OK Francis, I didn’t need that hair anyway. Or the blonde jokes.

c8

I SAIL ON CLOUDS AND SAVE CHILDREN FROM WOLVES. WELL AT LEAST MOST OF ONE.

c12

But can you save a ship from drowning? I can!

c9

I am so fabulous I have my own personal Madame Tussaud’s in the crypt of my very own basilica! Beat that.

c11

Um Janice — what the hell are you doing? There’s no need to check out my holy feet.

c14

I’m not actually the patron saint of cats but this one is my friend. I’m a Franciscan, after all.

 

 

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