Me again, shamelessly stealing other people’s representations of awesome women and supplying captions of dubious hilarity. This time: Clare (or Ciara) of Assisi. First woman to be granted her own Rule of Life for a religious community. The one who kept Francis on the straight and narrow when he wanted to go become a hermit instead of shepherding the burgeoning Franciscan movement. General badass.
Do you know how long I’ve been carrying this monstrance? A long, long time. Bow down, already.
Those bitches are lame. I can carry this thing with ONE HAND and also SAY THE ROSARY AT THE SAME TIME.
I AM THE SAINTLY EQUIVALENT OF THE STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW (WO)MAN IN THE WOMEN-ONLY GHOSTBUSTERS.
I am wearing a star and smiling and I want to introduce you to my friend Jes–Wait! Jesus! Where’d you go?
I am wearing a saucy little one-shouldered 12th century number but refusing to marry any dudes. Instead I am going to found a ladies-only religious community where we don’t even have to talk to dudes. #misandry
It’s OK Francis, I didn’t need that hair anyway. Or the blonde jokes.
I SAIL ON CLOUDS AND SAVE CHILDREN FROM WOLVES. WELL AT LEAST MOST OF ONE.
But can you save a ship from drowning? I can!
I am so fabulous I have my own personal Madame Tussaud’s in the crypt of my very own basilica! Beat that.
Um Janice — what the hell are you doing? There’s no need to check out my holy feet.
I’m not actually the patron saint of cats but this one is my friend. I’m a Franciscan, after all.